7 Tips to Help Your Kids Follow Routines
Establishing a routine in your home can be a life saver. Routines bring much-needed structure and organization, but getting your kids to actually follow it can be another story. In fact, it can be a really frustrating experience causing you to give up on trying…
However, routines are so important for kids. Following routine, even from a young age, will help kids with independence and creating good habits.
With the right strategies and a little patience, your kids can get on board with the routine and benefit from the structure it provides.
In this post, I’ll share seven tips for helping your children follow a routine, from the baby stage all the way through school age. Whether you’re trying to implement a morning routine or a bedtime routine, these tips will help make the process a little easier for everyone involved.
Why It’s Tough to Get Kids to Follow a Routine
Before we dive into tips, it’s important to recognize that routines don’t always click immediately. Kids are naturally resistant to structure, especially when it’s new or changes are involved. This resistance is especially evident when transitioning from one activity to another, such as moving from playtime to bedtime or getting ready for school.
Think about how you feel when you’re watching your favorite show and someone turns it off and tells you to move onto something else, especially something that isn’t fun? You’d be a bit angry, I’m sure.
Make sure you give your kids a bit of grace and the benefit of the doubt at first. Even though it can feel infuriating when your kids push back on everything you tell them to do. Don’t be discouraged! This phase is temporary, and with time and consistency, your kids will begin to follow the routine more independently. You’ll be so glad you stood your ground.
Tips for Getting Your Kids to Follow a Routine
1. Start Early and Be Consistent
The earlier you can start introducing routines, the easier it will be for your kids to adopt them. Babies can’t follow routines right away, but you can begin to establish patterns that help them feel secure.
For example, when my kids were babies, I followed the suggestions in The Baby Whisperer book, but I also researched other routines from moms in similar situations. The key was finding a rhythm that worked for our family. With newborns, routines will shift quickly as their needs change, so flexibility is important. For instance, a breastfed baby’s routine may differ from a bottle-fed baby’s routine, but both can benefit from predictable feeding and sleep times.
With toddlers, however, you can begin to incorporate more structured tasks like getting dressed, brushing teeth, and following through with a bedtime routine. Remember, consistency is key. Even if your toddler resists or throws a tantrum (and they probably will), sticking with the routine will eventually lead to smoother transitions over time.
2. Use Visual Aids and Checklists
Visual aids can be a game-changer when it comes to getting kids to follow a routine. If you have a school-aged child, create a simple checklist of their daily tasks, such as brushing teeth, washing hands, and packing their backpack. A checklist can help them stay on track without needing constant reminders from you.
For younger children, you can use pictures instead of words. For example, a picture of a toothbrush for the “brush teeth” step or a pair of pajamas for bedtime. Kids love checking things off, so give them a sense of accomplishment when they finish a task by allowing them to mark off each item on their checklist.
I have “done for you” checklists with pictures for younger kids, you can check them out here.
3. Use Timers to Stay on Track
Timers can be incredibly effective in keeping your child focused and motivated. For example, I use a 10-minute timer with my son to keep him on task during bedtime routines. If he gets distracted and starts playing with his brother instead of getting ready for bed, the timer goes off, signaling that it’s time to move on.
The timer takes the pressure off you as the “bad guy” and gives your child a clear structure to follow. This method works especially well for kids who have trouble transitioning between activities or get caught up in distractions.
4. Set Realistic Expectations
When implementing a new routine, be patient. Don’t expect perfection from your kids right away. Especially with younger children, there will be a learning curve as they adjust to the new routine.
For example, if you’re working on a bedtime routine with your toddler, be prepared for some resistance at first. You may have to assist them with every step—like helping them brush their teeth or put on their pajamas—but over time, they will begin to take more ownership of the process.
Even with school-aged children, consistency and realistic expectations are key. You may need to prompt your child several times before they get the hang of following their routine without reminders. Remain calm and patient (I know, harder said than done), and acknowledge their progress. This helps reinforce the habit and builds a sense of accomplishment in your child.
5. Be the Example
Kids are more likely to follow a routine if they see you following one yourself. Whether it’s your morning routine or fitness routine, demonstrating that you follow a routine gives your children a model to emulate.
You can also talk openly with your children about the importance of routines. For example, share with them how a structured morning routine helps you get out the door on time, or how your workout routine helps you feel energized throughout the day. By framing routines as something beneficial and empowering, you’re more likely to get your kids to buy into the process.
6. Use Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is one of the most powerful tools for encouraging your kids to stick to a routine. Praise them when they follow through with tasks or when they make improvements (no matter how big or small). Whether it’s verbal praise or a small reward system, reinforcing positive behavior can go a long way in motivating your child to keep up with the routine.
For example, if your child brushes their teeth without being reminded, offer a simple, “Great job! I’m proud of you!” Or, if they follow the routine with minimal reminders throughout the day, reward them with extra playtime or a sticker. Positive reinforcement helps make routines feel like a rewarding experience rather than a chore.
7. Expect Setbacks—And Be Flexible
No routine is perfect, and there will inevitably be setbacks. Life happens—sometimes things get off track due to unexpected events, illness, or changes in the family schedule. The key is to be flexible and adjust the routine when necessary. For example, if your child is feeling sick, it’s okay to tweak the routine to allow for more rest time. Don’t be too hard on yourself or your child if the routine gets disrupted occasionally.
Flexibility is essential in maintaining a long-term routine that works for your family. Consistency is not created out of perfectionism. Consistency with your routine will come when you fail, but keep on trying.
Benefits of Routines for Kids
Children thrive in environments that feel safe and predictable. Having a consistent routine creates a sense of security and helps them understand what to expect.
Routine provides structure and security for children. Without a routine, children could feel insecure and uncertain of what is going to happen next. Children can relax more if they know their needs will be met, which happens when you have routines in place.
Routines also help kids who struggle with stress and anxiety because it gives them a sense of control and doesn’t leave room for uncertainty.
A routine helps children create habits. For example, if brushing their teeth is part of the nighttime routine, it’s easier for children to keep it up night after night when it’s built into their routine.
Routines can help kids transition from one time of day to the next. For example, a calming bedtime routine—such as reading a story before bed, having quiet playtime, or taking a warm bath—can signal to your child that it’s time to wind down. When the routine is predictable, it creates a sense of safety and helps your child transition to bedtime more easily.
Use The 7 Tips to Help Your Kids Follow Routines
Getting your kids to follow a routine may feel overwhelming at first, but with a little patience and consistency, you’ll start to see positive changes. From babies to school-age children, routines help create structure, reduce stress, and foster a sense of security.
By using tools like visual checklists, timers, and positive reinforcement, you can help your kids move through their routines easily. Most importantly, remember that routines are meant to make life easier, so be patient with yourself and your child as you work together to establish a system that works for everyone.
Have you had success with routines in your family? What tips or tricks have worked for you? Share in the comments below—I’d love to hear your thoughts!
