Invisible Time Wasters that Drain Your Energy + What to Do About Them

I was working with a mom of a two-year-old, helping her put a schedule in place that included her unpredictable work schedule, and starting a new business.

When I asked her about her biggest obstacle with being productive, she thought about it for a minute. Then she shared that on the days she doesn’t go into work, she finds herself sitting in overwhelm questioning all the things she could be doing with her time.

When she has some ideas about the best way to spend the day, she just can’t decide on what takes priority.

Then, because she’s feeling overwhelmed and indecisive, she scrolls her phone, wasting time which leads to more overwhelm and feeling frustrated with her procrastination.

Feeling paralyzed by overwhelm, battling with indecision and buffering (something you do unintentionally and mindlessly to avoid a task/feeling), are just a few of the invisible time wasters that you might be engaging with.

It’s important to understand how these time wasters are hijacking your time (as a busy mom, you have so little time as it is), and what to do about it.

In this blog post, I’m going to share with you the eight invisible time wasters, and what to do about them.

Eight Invisible Time Wasters

When you think of things that waste your time, what comes to mind? I’m sure you can think of a lot of things that cause distraction and/or steal your time. Your kids, your phone, constantly having to clean up the kitchen, or pick up after your kids, etc.

However, it’s rare that you consider how your emotional state and mindset can waste time.

Time is wasted when you engage with the following:

#1 Worrying

Worrying might seem helpful, but it’s a waste of mental energy. When you’re in a state of worry, your brain is on high alert trying to keep you safe. This means that your mental focus will be directed toward solving the situation that’s making you worry – this can be an impossible task, especially if you’re worrying about something that hasn’t even happened.

Because your brain is trying to protect you, it’s hard to focus on other tasks. In fact, your brain will try hard to stop you from doing anything productive. This could show up as procrastination.

What You Can Do

Worrying may feel as natural to you as breathing. The first step to worry less is to become aware of when you are worrying. Then ask yourself these questions:

How is worrying at this moment improving the situation I’m worried about?
What would it look like if the best scenario happened instead of the worst? And if that was the case, would I be happy that I wasted time worrying today?

#2 People Pleasing

You do something to make someone else happy, even if you really don’t want to. Most of the time, this shows up as tasks that you tell yourself you “have to” or “should” do. It can be as simple as immediately texting someone back because you don’t want them to think you’re rude. Next thing you know, 30 minutes have gone by and you’re mad at yourself for not having better boundaries with your phone. Which leads us to “Judging Yourself + Others”, I’ll get to that in a minute.

What You Can Do

This is a habit that takes some time to break. The first step is to notice how many times you’re doing something because you feel obligated to do it, versus wanting to do it. Then from this place, question what’s the worst that could happen if you say “no”?

Yes, friends and family might have some feelings, if you start saying “no” to things. This is when you have to remind yourself that it’s YOUR life and YOUR time, not theirs. If someone is upset with your sudden assertiveness over your time, it’s because they secretly wish they could do the same with their time.

The less you give into people pleasing, the more you show others how to respect their time also!

#3 Judge Yourself + Others

You’re critical of others and/or hard on yourself. You spend a lot of time having thoughts like “They should…” and “I should…” or “They shouldn’t” and “I shouldn’t”. When you’re being overly critical of yourself and others, you generate negative emotions. And then to avoid feeling negative, you do something that’s easy and fun (gives you a quick dopamine hit), instead of doing the things that really matter. This is procrastination.

What You Can Do

Accept that others are allowed to life their lives judging them won’t get them to change. It’s an unproductive use of time.

As far as judgmental thoughts about yourself, recognize that these critical thoughts cause emotional and mental harm if repeated enough. Think about this…if your brain was an actual person that walked along side you all day, sharing your self-critical thoughts out loud, how would you feel at the end of the day? You’d feel beaten down, mentally exhausted, and completely unmotivated to get stuff done.

#4 Sit in Overwhelm

You feel so overwhelmed; you take no action. Unfortunately, overwhelming is a common emotion amongst moms. There’s so much on your plate at any moment that it can feel like too much to achieve. Sometimes you don’t know where to start.

Feeling overwhelming can trigger the brain into stress mode, which means that your brain will work hard to stop you from taking any positive action, to keep you safe. But taking intentional action is what you need to get out of overwhelm so this can be tricky.

What You Can Do

The best way to lessen the overwhelm is to get a piece of paper out and do a brain dump. Write everything out on paper that’s swimming in your head. Just this act alone will help you feel productive.

Once you have everything on paper, you can make a to-do list and then start with the first thing on the list.

To really get a grip on overwhelm, make a 5 minute brain dump part of your everyday routine.

Related Post: 5 Tips To Stop Mom Overwhelm

#5 Buffering to Avoid Your Emotions

You’re feeling boredom, dread, overwhelm, stress, anxiety, etc. Since feeling those feelings are not fun, your brain shows you how to feel better in the moment by spending time mindlessly scrolling, watching TV, eating, drinking, etc.

Just like when your computer buffers, buffering keeps you stuck in the same place.

What You Can Do

If buffering has become a habit for you, the first step is to identify when it happens.

In the beginning of this post, I talked about the mom I worked with who found herself buffering because she didn’t know what to do with her time on her day off. Her buffering would start as soon as she woke up.

Once she created a time block schedule for herself, she no longer felt lost as to how to spend her time. She had a plan for how to spend her day off, from beginning to end.

Sometimes having a plan in place is enough to get you into action and out of buffering.

But if that’s not enough, you might have to put more work into stopping the buffering habit. Just like any bad habit, it can take time. But every time you spend time intentionally instead of buffering, counts as a win! Soon enough, you’re wins will outweigh buffering.

#6 Sit in Indecision and/or Confusion

Your to-do list seems too big, you can’t decide where to start, you can’t make up your mind on what to do, or you don’t know the next step. If you struggle with a Type A personality, this can be even more difficult because you’re searching for the “perfect” way to spend your time.

However, all that indecision and confusion steals time that you could use to get stuff done.

What You Can Do

This is another instance when planning your time is helpful. When you’re sticking to a schedule, you rarely feel confused with what to do next. Same thing with routine, when you have a routine in place, there’s time carved out for your tasks and habits.

However, if you’re wasting time because you’re confused or indecisive about a decision you must make, that’s a different story.

One thing you can do is flip a coin. If you feel strong emotions based on how the coin flips, that should tell you something and help you make a decision.

#7 Sit in Regret or Guilt

You have regrets over choices you made. You might regret how you recently wasted time, so now you’re feeling even more negative. Or this can show up as guilt. If you work all day out of the house, you might feel constant guilt about not being with your kids. Guilt or regret sit in the background as you go about your day, making it difficult to fully focus. Once again, your brain will look for ways to avoid these negative emotions and get a quick fix of dopamine.

What You Can Do

Once again, the first step is awareness. Notice how often throughout the day you’re feeling regret and/or guilt. Pay attention to what you’re thinking that’s causing you to feel this way, because your thoughts cause your emotions,

Once you notice the thought or the emotion, say to yourself, “We’re not going there.” This might sound silly, but it’s helping you take control over your brain. Once you start shutting down the thoughts that are causing regret and guilt, you’ll start feeling more mentally energized and more focused with your time.

#8 Lack of Boundaries

When you let others invade your space and time, against your true desires. This can be as simple as allowing your kids to interrupt your morning routine, instead of creating a rule where they must stay in their room until 7am. If they choose to wake up and leave their room, they will be on their own until your morning routine is complete.

What You Can Do

If your biggest boundary breakers are your kids, it can take time, mental strength, and patience to train them to respect your boundaries. You might have to set some toys up or plan an activity for them so they can be on their own for a bit.

As I’m writing this, my son came into my office and sat down and started asking me a bunch of random questions. I answered at first, but feeling my agitation grow, I remembered I was literally writing about boundaries and told him to please leave because I’m trying to finish this post, and I’ll answer his questions later.

I’ve always had boundaries around my morning routine. It’s my time and even if my kids woke up and wanted breakfast, they knew they had to wait until I was done.

I’ve also created a boundary around my work hours. I don’t schedule any appointments or plan work after 4pm. From experience, I found that the evening hours were just not productive for me.

Stop Engaging with Invisible Time Wasters

Chances are, you’ve done all the eight invisible time wasters today! Don’t worry, you’re human so that will happen.

However, once you can see how the invisible time wasters are affecting your day, you can take action to fix this.

I suggest narrowing in on one of the time wasters and starting there. Not only will you feel more productive with your time, but you’ll have more mental and physical energy also because you won’t be dealing with so much negative emotion.

What’s one invisible time waster you’re happy to get rid of? Let me know in the comments below!

**Before you leave, grab The “Type A” Moms Guide to Feel Organized + In Control of Your Time, for FREE. You’ll find it here.**

Invisible Time Wasters that Drain Your Energy + What to Do About Them

Eight Invisible Time Wasters