Navigating Motherhood and Career Without Burning Out: How to Manage Expectations and Energy {Part II}

Check out Part I of this post to find out what burnout is, what leads to burnout, and what happens when you’re in burnout mode. You can find Part I here!

How to Recover from Burnout

The absolute first step in recovering from burnout and getting your logical brain back in charge, is to be aware of how everything from Part I applies to you. Once you have awareness, you’ll be more cautious about what you choose to keep thinking, and what thoughts you’ll get rid of.

For example, I realized the “I don’t have time…” thought was like a soundtrack in the background of my life causing me constant overwhelm. I knew that this constant overwhelm was causing my cortisol to spike, allowing my primitive brain to be in charge which leads to more procrastinating and reinforces the “I don’t have time…” thought.

To get out of this cycle, I decided not to give this thought any energy. I wouldn’t say it out loud, and when it popped in my head I would say, “I’m not going there.” And I would just focus on what I was doing in that moment. This recognition over your thoughts is sometimes enough to completely change your mindset.

The second step is to be really kind to yourself. You’ve been doing things a certain way for a long time, so now it’s time to be really nice and go easy on yourself. No more self-criticism and trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. When you find yourself thinking perfectionist thoughts, or “I should” thoughts, let them go, knowing that it’s not part of the kindness plan.

Take this recovery as seriously as you would any recovery! If you’re tired, rest. Knowing that rest is what will help you use your logical brain more.

How to Avoid Burnout

The reader I referenced in the beginning of Part I is undecided about going back to work for fear that she won’t be able to manage being a working mom with her roles at home. She is specifically nervous about having enough energy to spend time with her daughter.

If the reader chooses to go back to work, this is what I would recommend she do to avoid burnout and feel like she has the energy to spend time with her family.

Put boundaries in place – both boundaries with others and boundaries with yourself. Create boundaries around when you focus on work (at work hopefully), and when you will focus on home life. This could mean no checking email from home, and no doing home tasks at work (unless absolutely necessary).

Have a ritual/routine to separate work from home – in order to have real closure from work at the end of the day, create an “end of work” routine. This might look like creating your to-do list for the next day, cleaning up your desk/office, shutting down your computer, and leaving your office. This routine signals to your brain that you’re done with work for the day.

The next step is to consistently tell your brain to stop worrying about work. You can take care of work when it’s work time. This might be really hard at first, but overtime, it will come easier.

Monitor your perfectionist thinking  – it’s not humanly possible to do everything perfectly, nor is it expected. Thoughts like, “If I don’t spend quality time with my daughter every day, I’m a bad mom”. Remember that self-inflicted pressure to do it all perfectly is one of the main causes of burnout.

Have a conversation with your spouse about expectations – it’s rare that we sit down with our partner and ask what they expect of us. It’s more likely that we have a list of things we think our spouse expects of us, but we could be wrong (hence putting more pressure on ourselves.)

 When choosing to go back to work or taking any action that will alter the dynamics of the home, it’s important to have a conversation about expectations you have for one another. If your spouse wants dinner on the table every night, but you know that might not be possible and would really stress you out, could you offer to make dinner twice a week? Then you can put a plan together of how dinner will look the other nights.

Having a talk with your partner ahead of time is a proactive approach that eliminates a lot of stress, tension, and resentment in the future.

Outsourcing for help (no-this doesn’t make you a bad mom) – With extra income coming in, what parts of your life are you able to outsource? Maybe you hire a house cleaner or have someone manage the laundry. Or you could use grocery pick-up or delivery. Handing these tasks over to others will allow you more downtime with your family.

Final Thoughts

If you only take one thing with you from this post, it should be that your thoughts can contribute to exhaustion and burnout, even if you aren’t doing anything to exhaust or burn you out.

Pay attention to what’s taking up precious space in your brain. Are these thoughts continually energizing you? Or are they draining you of mental and physical energy?

**Before you leave, grab The “Type A” Moms Guide to Feel Organized + In Control of Your Time, for FREE.  You’ll find it here.**

Related Post: 5 Ways To Avoid Mom Burnout + {Part I} Balancing Motherhood and Career Without Burning Out: How to Manage Expectations and Energy